There are a lot of things women say that confuse me. For instance, “We hooked up.” What does that mean exactly? First base, second base, third base, home run? I just assume it means home run, so I don’t really need it broken down for me. But there is another phrase I need women to translate for me.

It’s usually given as a response whenever she’s asked how one man compares to the other and she tells it to anyone, girl or guy. I’ve heard it a few times in my life, specifically when I pressed a woman on whether or not the new guy was better than me. These days, I don’t ask such foolish questions. My ego no longer needs cising. But I would still like to know what the following phrase means whenever a woman says it. So here it is, folks. Give me your translations in the comments.

The operative word I’m having trouble deciphering here is “different.” What the hell does that mean, “He’s different.” Different? I didn’t ask if he was different, I asked who’s better, me or him. Her response? “It’s different” or “He’s different” or “You’re different.” Look, the person is different from me so this is a big fat duh.

I know they’re different, how so, different as in better or different as in not as good? Pay no attention to the juvenile immaturity of the man’s question. Let us not get bogged down in semantics. I know for a fact I speak for many men when I say we have no idea what a woman means when she says, “He’s different.” So please, give me and other men a breakdown. It would be greatly appreciated.